Monday, December 12, 2011


My hunky hubby has the George Bush Sr. Cost of Living Syndrome. That is to say, he's clueless about the current prices of groceries among other things, and accordingly, how much is generally and regularly spent for groceries for the average family of four. Uhh, family of four where 75% are male. I feel that statement is crucial because its insanely consequential to the bottom line.

Now then. I feel compelled to state for the record that Hunky Hubby can quote the exact and/or relational cost of an abundance of items, mostly related to commercial property and it's upkeep, maintenance and repair. Also he's acutely aware of the price of frozen pizza, Xochitl chips, salsa, guacamole, and hummus. And Diet Coke. Pretty much his repertoire as it relates to consumable grocery items. Now, if you're talking hunting gear that's a different saga. And a post for another day.

So when I got home from Costco yesterday and happened to mention that I'd spent $365, he. freaked. out. Lost his mind for a bit.

"You saw all the stuff we brought in baby," I say. "How much did you THINK it cost? You can't get this quantity of cases, multi-packs, and huge containers of consumables like this for peanuts y'know."
"Well . . . . well . . . . well, weeeeee're we're just spending a lot on extras right here at Christmas, that's all," he said with a frustrated hand raised to his forehead.

"Extras? Interesting viewpoint. I never looked at food for our family as extras, but if you insist."

"Are you kidding me?" He's hoarse by now. "Three HUNDRED and seventy DOLLARS worth? That's not EXTRAS?????

"Sad to say, but no my darling man. It's normal. And not only that, but I didn't get everything I needed either. I'll have to make a grocery store trip later in the week."

At this point I thought his eyeballs might just pop out of their sockets and the top of his head shoot off with projectile smoke billowing and a big ol' train horn sound for accompaniment. He looked at me like I had three heads.

"What? More? We still need MORE?"

*sigh* Bless his heart. Good thing I'm so in love with him.

Pregnant pause. Having known the man for somewhere over thirty years, I'm fully aware that now at this nano-second he's working that information in his brain to spin it so that somehow HIS reaction is MY fault.

"Well, you acted like $370 was a lot when you told me how much you spent."

"It is."

"It is what?"

"A lot."

Pregnant pause. Having known the man for somewhere over thirty years, I'm just now learning how to burst his blame bubble.

"Well then, see?"

"See what?"

"See? If you hadn't acted like it was a lot I wouldn't have - uh - said, yeah that's it, said what I did."

*sigh* Bless his heart.

"It is a lot, but it's not more than usual. See the difference there, Big Guy? And for the record, the term extras refers to something that can be done without. In excess. Ancillary. Extraneous. Last time I checked, it was not only illegal but unethical and abysmally negligent not to provide healthy and nutritional food for your children."

Okayyyyyy. So that parting shot may've been ever so slightly patronizing. But just WAIT until he asks me where the Diet Cokes are. Now THERE's an extra.

1 comment:

Doodles said...

excuse me are Mr C and Mr W brothers from a different Momma, time zone and era??? Or is it just men. Teach your boys now, their wives will love you forever. Well not that they wouldn't lubs ya anyway.