THE VAN IS ROCKIN'

It doan mean what it used ta. This morning my kids are eating breakfast, and they decide it's prudent to pick at each other. One shamelessly makes fun of the other. That one pinches the first one. And the games begin. . . . .

By the time it's time to take #1 son to school, we've reached a crescendo. Their faces are so contorted that it makes them appear to despise each other, which at the moment is probably fairly accurate, but being that they're so young and live in the moment, is, well, momentary - or maybe morningtary. Fortunately breakfast has already been consumed. There's no food to fly. By the time we get in the car an amazing thing has occurred. Jr. Mint has found a way to outsmart #1. Jr. Mint is 4. #1 is 9.

"Is everyone buckled?"

"I'm not gonna buckle."

Ah-haaaaaaaa.

"YOU HAVE TO BUCKLE, NUM NUTS, OR I'LL BE LATE TO SCHOOL!"

Ohhhhhhh, #1. You tipped your hand. Baaaaaaad move. One point for Jr. Mint. Think he knows it?

"Well, I'm NOT buckling. You can't make me, eeeder. Just TRY."

Yep, he knows it.

And still. The nine year old doesn't catch on.

"WELL I'M YOUR BIG BROTHER AND YOU'RE GONNA DO WHAT I SAY!" and with that pounced on him like a buzzard on rotten meat.

This was gonna be a great show. I pulled over, threw the van in park and turned around to watch. They fought until Jr. Mint wore #1 out. Breathing hard, he plopped back down into his seat, and in a weak, small voice, said,

"I'm gonna be late. I can't get him to buckle."

Jr. Mint was whimpering, but still had victory in his eyes and was free from the shackles of a belt buckle.

"I'm not gonna wisten to you, bruddah."

I took my opportunity to sneak in a little comment.

"Son?"

"*snivvle* Whut. *snivvle*"

"I'm so sorry you're gonna be late, but I'll love you whether you're late to school or not. And you know what?"

"*snort* Whut."

"Don't worry. Cuz tomorrow you'll have another chance to make your morning run muuuuuch smoother. In the meanwhile, wanna know what might work?"

"*snarfle" I guess."

"Well, since brother's got his hands over his ears, let's explore this. You know his birthday's in two days, huh. You have a great gift for him, don't you. Are you going to want to give it to him if he doesn't cooperate with you?........ Should you mention that to him?........ How would that work for you, do you think?......"

We were on our way in twenty seconds. It was a light bulb moment for #1 son. I don't think we had any bloodshed. Maybe one pair of glasses got bent in the battle. I'm anxious to see if anyone learned anything.

We'll see tomorrow morning, I s'pose.